Letter to Mark Bobby #9

>>> the time. I have however, a bad ...... fell like I love you and ...... I let you make the rules ..... as though sometimes my ..... ment is abused a bit - I ......... like you but you just ....... at all.

I want you to care ....... I want you to want to want to be with {me}...... If I told you half of this you'd run away.. but I wish you thought the flame could be rekindled. Whatever I'd have to do, I'd do. I can be happy. I can be good. Do you think if we both tried very hard. a friendship could develop and perhaps re-blossom into that idealistic sort of thingy we had going ages ago? Come on Mark, make me happy. God knows I've tried to make you happy often enough. You loved me once, you can do it again. Why? Because in that post-storm calmness I can see more. God help me, (you bastard!!) you certainly deserve a Plaque in the Kleenex company headquarters for inspiring many stormy outbursts, many many a tear and god knows how many fits of absolute despair. YOU SUCK! (kidding, OK?!) If I was telling you this, all this, for, ie. a speech or something, I'd finish by saying - Well I've had my emotional purge and logic returns. Despite my feelings of worthlessness a little part inside me is squeaking : "YOU ARE worth something." I mean I guess I am. I have good >>>